Ep031: Embrace JOMO to Transform Your Real Estate Career and Personal Life

Chris McAllister: Hi y’all, Chris McAllister here with the Connect Practice Track and Grow podcast, where it’s my job to make your real estate business better and your life easier. I’m here today with my podcast partner, Laci LeBlanc, and today we are continuing with part seven of our 12 part series, Protecting the Goose that Lays the Golden Eggs.

Today’s episode is titled JOMO, or the Joy of Missing Out. Good morning, Laci. 

Laci LeBlanc: Good morning, Chris. I’m very excited for this one. I didn’t, I’ve always had FOMO until just recently and now um, JOMO has set in hard and I’m really I’m excited about it. 

Chris McAllister: Okay. We can just jump to the end of this podcast. You’re already there.

That’s fantastic. So I first encountered this concept a couple of years ago, I was listening to a Tim Ferriss podcast and it was Sarah Silverman that was the guest. And, uh, she talked about this whole idea of Jomo or the joy of missing out. So you’ve got this, this idea of Jomo, which, and its counterpart, as you said, the fear of missing out.

And I like to think of these as. Two sides of the same coin and each side influences how we make decisions and how we perceive opportunities in both our personal and professional lives. So I love that idea of two sides of the same coin. 

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah, I think, I mean, you can’t have one without the other. So I think that’s, that’s exactly true.

Um, but I think that what I’ve found is I, I was falsely fearful of missing out. Like I wasn’t really, um, like deep down in my soul, it was really kind of a societal pressure more than anything, or, or maybe pressure I’d put on myself, but, um, yeah, I don’t, I think that it’s Two sides to one coin, but I don’t think people think about that at all.

I think there’s just for most people, there’s just FOMO. Um, and they don’t realize that there’s also an alternative there. 

Chris McAllister: Yeah. And I don’t know if this was an original thought to Sarah Silverman. I doubt that it was, but that was just the first place I had ever heard of it. So I just, I’ve been thinking about this for months now, and it’s just a kind of a helpful mindset, helpful construct, so to speak.

So as we talk to, as we start to talk about what JOMO is, you know, sometimes it’s easier to, to define something by, by what it’s not. So what I want to do is, is to kind of talk a little bit about FOMO. So FOMO, I’m sure you’re all aware is that nagging anxiety you get when you feel like you’re being left out.

Uh, something exciting or, or, or a valuable experience. And it’s the fear that others are making strides or having rewarding experiences without you. And for real estate professionals, FOMO can be a double edged sword, right? On the plus side, it drives us to seize opportunities, but it can also lead us to overcommit and lose sight of which opportunities truly align with, with our long term vision for our, for ourselves and our business.

And that sort of gets back to, um, you know, what we talked about throughout these last six episodes, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s, how are you going to take care of yourself? How do you envision organizing your life, your business, how you’re going to set boundaries and so forth. And when we chase every opportunity, Out of fear, then we sort of risk spreading ourselves too thin and our focus gets diluted.

And, uh, you know, growth just gets harder and harder to harder. And it’s, it’s, it’s just a bad thing. And I think, as I sit here thinking about these notes I’ve made, I think that’s where burnout comes from. I think this whole idea of FOMO generally leads to to burnout. 

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah, I mean, fear is. a powerful emotion, right?

So fear, like, and hope and we, we, you know, we hear a lot about people doing things out of fear these days and, and really it’s also out of scarcity. I think so. If fear can be incredibly motivating, but it’s, in my experience, it’s rarely motivating in the right way. You know what I mean? Like fear leads you to do crazy things that, that the real you or the calm you or the level headed you might not do.

So, you know, even though we’re talking about it kind of in a lighthearted way, fear of missing out. So Moho like ha ha ha. You know, I think that there are very real consequences to acting out of any fear, um, and this is no exception. 

Chris McAllister: I don’t think, and surely FOMO promotes anxiety, and I think we talked about this the last episode, I, you know, I half jokingly, but not jokingly, said that, you know, I’m a walking anxiety disorder harnessed for productivity, and, you know, anxiety, like, fear, Can cause you to be incredibly productive, but it can cause you to be incredibly productive on the absolute wrong thing just as easily as it can cause you to be productive on the right thing.

So it’s a powerful, uh, motivating tool, but you also have to create some space. You know, and some mental clarity and some mental peace to figure out which path, you know, you’re, you’re, you’re going to pursue, or what makes sense to, to, to make that commitment towards. And I do think there’s a lot of, definitely a lot of fear and maybe a lot of FOMO around, you know, what we’re dealing with now and, uh, aftermath of the NAR settlement.

And when I think about, you know, all the stuff that was online and all the things that we were reading about, about agents that were trying to create workarounds to, um, you know, preserve our status quo, um, you know, that, that’s definitely generated out of, out of a fear of missing out in this case, I guess, on future commissions.

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah, I think a lot of it is scarcity, right? Um, if you fear you’re missing out on something, then you’re not acknowledging that a, there’s enough to go around, right? So if it’s a sale, you’re, you’re fearful of, or there’s. There’s more of those, right? If you have an abundance mindset, you know, there’s more of those, but also, you know, if it’s an experience, I love that you’re talking about like experiences.

Cause I think about things like networking or, um, sponsoring something or, cause those are the things. In your business, if you’re too focused on sales, like sure, it can cause problems, but it’s really kind of those outside distractions a lot of times that can get you like, Oh, I need to, you know, show up for this event, or I need to show up for that event, or I need to, you know, sponsor this or sponsor that.

But if you have that abundance mindset, there’s always another experience. If you don’t end up sponsoring the baseball team, the little league team, right? Then guess what? Soccer is coming up next, next season. Um, and I think that there are so many, if you don’t get to this networking event where this big name person was, well, there’s another one next month.

I guarantee you. I’ll get you on every list you need to be on. Um, so I think that that abundance mindset really is where you can, when you start to, yeah. Embrace that you can start to embrace Jomo. 

Chris McAllister: Yeah. So I think in closing about defining FOMO, we’re missing out in sort of in conclusion of this definition, it promotes a what’s in it for me mentality.

As opposed to a what’s in it for them mentality, and that’s why I think we always have to be vigilant, uh, you know, and sort of thinking about our thinking, you know, when is fear driving us? And I think sometimes if you can just identify, you know, where that fear or anxiety is driving you, um, it sort of helps you manage it.

That makes sense. So that’s one side of the coin, the scary side of the coin. And then we go back to the other side of the coin, which is the power of Jomo. So on the other hand, Jomo offers a sense of peace and satisfaction. It’s about being content with the choices you’ve made. Appreciating the moment you’re in and not worrying about what you might be missing out on easier said than done.

Believe me, I know. 

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah, it took me at least 41 years to get here. 

Chris McAllister: I’m at the 61 so and I’m still not there, but I’m I’m a work in progress, right? So for someone who values relationships over transactions and takes a long term view of their business. Embracing Jomo is not just powerful. It’s sort of essential, you know, because if you’re constantly motivated by FOMO and you’re constantly grasping at the next shiny object, or, you know, somebody else got ahead for a few minutes and you want to figure out what they did and go do it, you know, it.

You’re never going to get anywhere over time if you are not focused or if you are scattered. So finding that place where you’re comfortable in where you are, who you are, the choices you’ve made and so forth, and you can embrace the joy in that. My God, that’s, that’s sort of the Holy grail.

So Jomo is a skill and it’s a mindset worth cultivating and you got to work at it, right? It’s not something that just comes naturally, at least not for 99 percent of the people I know. I, you know, when I run across somebody who just truly seems to be at peace and present. That’s, that’s a very rare thing.

And I’d say it’s definitely less than 10 percent of the people I meet and interact with. So it’s a mindset worth cultivating because it allows you to focus on what truly matters, whether that’s nurturing, meaningful connections with clients or selecting opportunities that genuinely align with your goals and vision, both for your, for your business and for yourself.

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah. I think the peace and presence that you talked about is. I don’t know, for people that I want to be around, that’s always, we’re always striving for that peace and presence, and if you have anxiety or just, you know, if you live in the world we live in today where there are a million things going on at any given time, I think that’s really, that can really be a struggle to find that peace.

And I hadn’t, I hadn’t thought about, you know, Jomo being a part of finding that, but you know, that’s another thing that FOMO takes from you. I think if you’re, if you’re overcommitted, if you’re rushing from one thing to the next, if you’ve, if you can’t get all the things you need to do next off the back of your mind, then when you’re present with clients, when you’re present with, um, you know, colleagues, when, when you’re in the moment, you’re not getting all the value out of that moment.

Right. Like, so you might be doing a hundred things, whereas the, you know, the next person is doing 10, but are you getting a hundred, are you getting 10 times the value out of them by doing 10 times the thing you can’t be, because you cannot possibly be, you know, focused and present in those moments and getting the most you can out of them.

If you’re constantly thinking about the last thing you did and the next thing you got to do. I feel like 

Chris McAllister: I also like the idea of how joy of missing out relates to unique ability. You know, I, I, we’ve talked about the concept of unique ability at length, you and I, and it’s the idea that we, we each have something that we’re uniquely fantastic at and genuinely better than anybody else at.

It’s that one spark, that one thing that, you know, makes work worth, worth doing. It’s, it’s, it’s just genuinely what makes us special. And I feel like embracing Jomo, you know, can help us. You know, sort of hone in on our unique ability, you know, the activities that you’re not only great at, but the, the, the, the ones you deeply enjoy, that’s, that’s a beautiful thing.

When you can articulate what those are and let every other opportunity, every other distraction fall away. So by focusing on, you know, your unique ability, you’re going to be able to make more significant contributions to, to your clients, to your business, you’re, you’re going to be able to drive innovation.

And you’re going to be able to create significance in, in your life and business because you’re not being distracted by what others are doing. So Jomo enables you to say no to good opportunities in favor of great opportunities, right? That’s the thing. Every opportunity looks good, but there’s so many of them.

And if you don’t pick what for you is the great one and focus on that only and exclusively, It’s, it’s really hard to, to get anywhere in line. Jomo also, I think, allows us to make sure that anything that we choose to do, that those actions are aligned with what our individual strengths and passions are.

And Jomo was hard. You know, it requires courage. It takes courage to say no to opportunities that don’t align with unique ability. You know, it takes courage to say no, um, to the activities. It takes courage to say no to everything else, and it takes courage to say yes exclusively to the activities that you’re not only great at, but that you also deeply enjoy.

So focusing on these areas. I think you can make significant contributions and drive innovation rather than getting distracted by what others are doing. And I think in the real estate sense, you know, for our listeners, innovation is about not being commoditized. It’s about understanding your individual strengths, the value you provide, what makes you, you doubling down on that and capitalizing it.

And leveraging it to the absolute extreme. Now, Jobo enables you to say no to good opportunities in favor of great ones, and ensures that your actions are always aligned. That’s, that’s really the beauty of Jomo and unique ability. 

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah, and that’s hard. It’s hard when you’re responsible for your own, you know, generating your own income when you own your own business.

Um, you know, it’s hard to say no to, to a good opportunity, but I think we talked about this actually on the last podcast episode, but I work, um, with some financial advisors. And one in particular is very, very focused on, you know, cash savings, um, wants people to have a lot of, a lot of money in cash liquidity, right?

So that when the next great opportunity comes along, they can take advantage of it. Right. And that does mean that they’re sitting on cash. That’s not maybe like, maybe it’s only earning X percent, right. And a high yield savings account, or instead of being invested in the market where There’s 10%, but that’s definitely a Jomo attitude, right?

Because you have this cash sitting around, that’s only earning 4 percent in a world where it could be earning 10 right now, or, but then when the next great thing comes along, you don’t have to go and cash in anything. You don’t have to, you know, sell anything. You just have it sitting there waiting, um, for that, that opportunity.

So I think having that bandwidth. Available to you is the only way that you’ll ever be able to, to really take advantage of the great opportunities as they come along. 

Chris McAllister: You could probably say that Warren Buffett is probably the person that comes to mind who clearly never has FOMO, right? He still owns the same house he’s owned for, you know, God knows 50, 60 years.

He’s in it for the long term, you know, he doesn’t care what’s going on around him in the market. He’s, he’s just secure in his, 

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah. 

Chris McAllister: Yeah. And he’s brave because, you know, he trusts himself. He’s true to himself. 

Laci LeBlanc: I will say that has to be a lot easier to do when you have as much, 

Chris McAllister: but he didn’t start with that.

Laci LeBlanc: Right. Sure. Yep. That’s, that’s where I maybe need to focus. I wish I would’ve 

Chris McAllister: started early. 

Laci LeBlanc: The earlier years. 

Chris McAllister: So for relationship driven professionals, you know, Jomo means that you can devote more time to building deeper and more authentic connections rather than chasing every transactional opportunity that that blows by it allows you to be selective about the relationships you choose to invest in.

And ensure that those relationships are mutually beneficial and aligned with your long term objectives. You can’t do that if you’re scared to death that you’re going to miss something that, that might’ve been better or could have been better someday. So in the real estate business, you got to focus on clients who share your values.

And are more likely than not to appreciate the unique services that you provide. So, there are, like I said, you know, earlier, there are places where, you know, FOMO can be used as a, as a tool, as long as you treat it as a tool and, and, and not your overall world view. So it’s not always negative. And in the context of transactions, you know, if you’re missing out and keep alert, To emerging trends and opportunities in the market, you know, without a little bit of FOMO, without a little bit of anxiety, you know, you couldn’t, you could become overly secure and, and miss the fact that there’s a, you know, Oncom, uh, on com oncoming, oncoming train, you know, coming at you, which, you know, NAR lawsuit and settlement, you know, we, we didn’t see that coming, but.

If you didn’t shoot, if you didn’t get out of your comfort zone, or at least take a look at it because, you know, there was a flashing red light, you know, the people who just ignored it until the day it came are struggling right now, the people who tried to understand it, embrace it, at least we’re ready for it mentally, whether they had a detailed plan of attack or not.

So you got to use FOMO strategically, and you’ve got to let FOMO sort of inform you. Right about inform your decision making, but you can’t let it drive you. So it’s about balance, you know, in the case of real estate, it’s about staying aware of the market, but just don’t let the fear of missing out, pull you away from your core strengths and the longterm, your longterm strategy.

Right. You don’t want FOMO to get to the point that, you know, I’m going to give up my relationships and I’m going to start focusing on, you know, closing as many deals as I possibly can. You know, one is clearly a decision made out of fear and the other is clearly a decision made from a sense of, of peace and I think personal awareness and understanding.

Laci LeBlanc: Can you give me an example? Like, we always talk about, um, kind of these ideas, but sometimes it helps to. To give an anecdote or, um, you know, of where someone might be with the NAR stuff that, you know, like us, we recorded, you know, a series of podcasts and, and resources months and months ago, um, after you did your initial deep dive.

And, you know, it really has not, it’s business as usual over here. Um, but for folks who kind of ignored it, what are some of the challenges they might be looking at right now? What, you know, what is some of the. 

Chris McAllister: Well, I, I, we still don’t know how the whole, um, settlement piece is going to work out right now.

It seems that things are. are moving, you know, pretty well business as usual. I’m not hearing from our agents that sellers are reluctant to, um, offer to pay, um, uh, a buyer’s, uh, buyer’s agent commission. We haven’t had enough time for this whole thing to play out. Right. I think there are still going to be buyers who are going to completely bypass a buyer’s agent, especially repeat buyers.

And they’re going to be going, you know, straight to the listing agent. Okay. And it goes back to being able to articulate your value and what makes you unique and why it’s not in that buyer’s best interest to go it alone if it’s truly not in their best interest to go it alone. Right. So as you know, you know, we’ve been talking a lot about this and I’ve been thinking a lot about this.

So I, I kind of put together a little personal mission statement that you might want to share with. With your buyers in that effort to explain your business model from a Jomo perspective, and it also as a way to articulate your, your values. So it sort of goes something like this, you know, Mr. Mr. Buyer, Mrs.

Buyer, you know, I don’t worry about what other agents are doing. And I really don’t worry about what’s going on in the market beyond what I need to know to make sure that I am able to help you get the house you wanted, the price you want to pay, the terms of work terms that work for you. My focus is on your interests and your interests only.

And for me, maintaining quality over quantity, cultivating deep market expertise and providing personalized service is what sets me apart. So when you choose to work with me, I want you to know you’re choosing a partner who is committed to your success. And not just another transaction. 

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah, that’s, that’s really beautiful.

Chris McAllister: I, you know, I wrote that, but that is, it was hard, right? Because I’m not naturally a Jobo person. But everything in that, that paragraph really speaks to somebody who is secure in their value they provide, secure, confident in their capability, and knows who they are and what they want their, the vision for their business.

Thanks. So, you know, I think everybody has to sort of articulate a statement like that for, for their clients. Maybe, maybe you want to use this, that’s great, but you know, you, you got to make it personalized for who you choose to work with and how you work and what makes you special. But I think to, I think articulating your value to a, to a buyer, which we absolutely have to do now, right?

Because we’ve got to get that piece of paper signed and they’d say they’re going to pay us whether, you know, they get a co op or not. That’s a hard thing for a buyer to do. And if you want to put a buyer at ease and help them understand who you are and why they are making the right decision to work with you, I think it’s, it’s worth it to kind of get those, those words on paper for yourself.

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah, I mean, and isn’t that who we want to do business with? Isn’t that person the person we want to do business with? And I truly believe that, you know, in a world like real estate where percentages are. Half the battle, right? The other half of the battle is equally as important because I, you know, I have Nana, right?

She’s my agent. So I have that. Um, but when I think about, you know, if I buy another house or if I sell my house, Um, my mortgage guy comes to mind and I know we’ve talked about him before. Um, but he was my saving grace walking me through the process because I was highly anxious buying my first home and Nana was great, but Nana’s Nana, you know, um, but I didn’t expect him to be.

So ideal, like as a, he’s a good human. He, you know, he just made me feel so secure. And so I think to myself in a world where percentage points are so really matter, like buying or selling a house, whether it comes to commission or interest or whatever you’re talking about. I would use him again because of that relational aspect, right?

The other half of the battle. Um, and it wouldn’t matter to me up to a point if, if I was going to pay a little bit more. Um, Right. To use him again, because I was, I felt so seen and heard and secure in that relationship and every opportunity I have, I tell everybody about him. Um, so, you know, I think that there’s great 

Chris McAllister: value.

Laci LeBlanc: Exactly. And he, he articulated that to me. He said, Laci, I don’t want you to worry. I’m going to walk you through this step by step. We’re going to, you know, we’re going to make it happen. I promise you, if nothing else, I’m good. Like you don’t need to be anxious. I’m going to keep you informed every step of the way.

I’m going to let you know exactly what we need and when we need it and how this is going to play out. So you don’t have to be worried about the next step. He literally said that to me and it was just like, he read my mind. So I think that there’s, you know, FOMO is going to have a lot to do with missed commissions, I think at this stage.

And I just think there’s so much value and for the people who’ve been playing this like relationship game all along, this is not going to be any surprise, right? Um, and y’all are in a good spot for that very reason, but there’s so much value with just being a good person to work with and truly caring about the people that you’re serving.

Chris McAllister: I think there’s , I think there’s value in, in, in being a good human, no question about it. I personally, 

Laci LeBlanc: I mean like translate that to, to work, you know what I mean? Like 

Chris McAllister: for me, good human comes first with anybody. I’m gonna interact with support, et cetera. I, I, uh, it’s hard for me to get past that, that that’s sort of a baseline.

So I, I, I, I love that phrase that you used. You know, maybe it’s a bumper sticker. First, be a good human. 

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah, I feel like that would solve a lot of our problems as a, as humans, but, but when you translate, again, we talk a lot about this with the touchy feel, like the warm and fuzzy feeling you get, like, that’s great, but it has to translate to the bottom line, right?

So I just feel like you need to make these connections because it’s all about, you know, when we talk about landlord profitability, or we’re talking about connect, practice, track and grow, in the end, we’re here to help people make more money, you know, live a better life that they create a career they, they actually want to be a part of and aren’t trying to escape.

But, and that all really comes down to the bottom line. So there is just real. tangible value, I think, in, in these tools and tips and strategies that, that you’re talking about. 

Chris McAllister: I appreciate that. So kind of wrapping up today. Um, Jomo or the joy of missing out. I think it’s incredibly powerful and it’s just really a question of awareness.

So in listening to this, I hope you’ve gained a deeper understanding of how this mindset can serve as a powerful tool in your professional journey as well as your, uh, professional toolbox, right? As a realtor and in a world where the pressure To do more, to be more and chase every opportunity is relentless.

I feel like Jomo offers an alternative path. It’s one that prioritizes quality alignment with your unique abilities and meaningful connections and relationships always, always win over sheer volume and, and reactive decisions. So Jomo is not about complacency or ignoring opportunities. It’s about making intentional choices.

that serve your long term goals and the interests of your clients. You’ve got to always keep in mind what’s in it for them. And it’s also about having the courage to say no to the noise, the distractions, and fear driven decisions. That can pull you away from what truly matters to you the most deep down.

So as you continue to navigate the complexities of our industry, especially in the wake of all the changes with the recent NAR settlement, I really encourage you to embrace JOMO as a guiding principle, let it empower you to focus on what you do best and, and what, what I know you do best if you’re listening to this is that you build deeper and more authentic relationships with, with your clients.

And keep focusing and getting better at articulating your value in a way that resonates with those who truly appreciate you and how you work. 

Laci LeBlanc: Nailed it. So 

Chris McAllister: how’s the demo? 

Laci LeBlanc: Nailed it. I think there’s just, you know, and I can speak from experience because I’ve, Currently, you know, just over the past couple of months have really been taking a long, hard look at, at my business and my clients and where I enjoy spending my time.

And I’ll tell you what, after nine months of being, I don’t want to use the word miserable, but being overworked and overwhelmed and, and really just kind of questioning it all. And that leaks into other aspects of your life, you know, I think. I feel content. And a lot of that is, is the joy of missing out on, you know, opportunities that were not right for me.

So I hope that others can find that same joy. I think this is a pretty good start for anybody who’s interested in pursuing it. 

Chris McAllister: I, I agree completely. So. All right. If you, I appreciate that, Laci. Thank you. If today’s episode resonated with you, I encourage you to take action. Start by identifying in one area of your business where you can embrace Jomo and focus on what truly matters.

Whether it’s refining your client relationships, honing your unique abilities or strategically saying no to a distraction, make a commitment to prioritize quality over quantity. And Laci and I would love to hear how you’re applying these principles in your work. You can connect with me on social media or send me a message to share your experiences and insights.

And if you found this episode valuable, please don’t forget to subscribe and even leave us a review and better share it with Your fellow real estate professionals who you think might benefit from adopting a JOMO mindset.